I need to get a job.

I need a job so I can get money.

I need money so I can go shopping.

I need money so I can finish applying to grad schools.

I need money so I can join a CrossFit gym.

And joining a CrossFit gym would make me oh, so happy.

But.. I can’t get a job because my summer is jammed packed with schooling, volunteering, and stressing out (sorry this is a repeating theme as of lately).

So I have to wait until August to find one.

And that makes me sad.

I JUST recovered from a stomach flu, and now I’m starting to get a cold. You have got to be kidding me. Stress has never taken such a toll on my body before.. I really need to stop stressing and worrying every waking hour of the day or else I’ll end up dead before I even get to see if I get into grad school or not.

I have been SO unproductive these past few days due to me getting the stomach flu. I’ve barely gotten out of bed, which means I haven’t volunteered, I haven’t been able to eat (or keep down) anything worth nutritional value, I haven’t been able to clean due to aches and exhaustion (leaving my apartment in a complete mess), and I haven’t been able to muster up any strength to work out. I’m fortunately feeling a lot better today, and I can finally eat more than just applesauce and soup, but I’m still not a 100% and it makes me upset. 

Anyway, I’ll update about last weekend hopefully tonight or sometime soon. 

In the meantime, please enjoy, drool over, and swoon over how beautiful Jonathan Adler’s products are with me.

Why couldn’t applying to schools be as easy as it was in high school? All you needed to do back then was to receive all the necessary information, and to mail it all off together in a sealed envelope. 

Now, I have to submit my application and supporting documentations in every way possible. And to top that off, PTCAS is pretty difficult to grasp. 

It’s times like these where I wish technology was still a luxury, so that I can do everything manually and not have to deal with an electronic middle man. 

I’m feeling rather unsettled at the moment, and I can’t seem to shake off this growing anxiety that has been building up for quite some time. Honestly, I don’t think that I’ve ever been this terrified, and I’m really regretting that I have been suppressing the stress that’s been building up towards this moment for this long. I’m really praying that these next several (very critical) weeks go by smoothly, and that God not only restore peace in my life and mind, but to also restore confidence and faith in myself.